Day Twelve - Reassessing my goals

I started the day with thirty minutes on the exercise bike. Not my favourite way to exercise, but it's pouring with rain here and is supposed to be all day, so this was my best bet to fit some exercise in. The exercise bike is currently in our bedroom, and I realised while I was cycling that my dumbbells were within arms reach. So, I ended up doing some arm work while I cycled too. It was definitely a good workout - I can feel it in my legs and arms and shoulders.

Breakfast: I wanted to have CADA, but then I thought that the ingredients in that is too similar to what is in my choc orange balls, so I decided to have raw fruit cereal instead. I left out the sultanas though and replaced them with goji berries.

Morning tea: Cherries and two choc orange balls. Yum!

Lunch: I went to the health food store this morning and ended up buying some organic bacon there. On the drive home I was daydreaming about having bacon and eggs for lunch, but then I read the ingredients... sugar is an added ingredient. It was probably not enough to even matter, but I would know, so I decided (after much deliberation) not to have the bacon. So, I ended up having two fried eggs on corn thins (no bread in the house). I also had a cup of tea with almond milk.

Afternoon tea: Two casheroo bars (which I must remind myself is too much - one was plenty). I had a cup of tea with almond milk to use up the last of it. I then made up a new batch. I always wonder what to do with the leftover pulp left behind when you make almond milk, but browsing on The Rawtarian I found some recipes that use it, including a raw almond pulp fudge, so I made that up quickly in the thermomix. They also suggest topping it with raw chocolate icing, so I made that too. I tried little bits of the fudge and icing along the way, but have to wait for it to set in the freezer before trying it properly.

I was feeling rather flat today, so I think that's what led me to making something very chocolatey. I just need to remember not to eat huge quantities of it!

Tea: I was really not feeling inspired for tea. I didn't have any meat out, and not anything around to just whip something up. I ended up going to the supermarket once hubby was home and getting things for wraps. So, we ended up having ham salad wraps. I used mountain bread, as that seems to be the brand with the least amount in it (nothing bad as far as I can tell), with lettuce, cucumber, cherry tomato, grated carrot and triple smoked ham (who knows what is in that stuff). Hubby and kids had cheese on theirs too, lucky buggers.

Dessert/Late night snack: I had the last piece of my banana cream pie. That lasted a long time! I'll definitely be making it again. I also tried a couple of pieces of the fudge. Very nice. Very fudgey!

I have been thinking a lot about my eating today, and am starting to look what I want to keep and what I want to bring back in. For now, I'm quite happy to keep going with no refined sugars. I'll keep that up at least for the month, but really I would like to have that be ongoing as much as is practical.

I definitely want to stick to eating wholegrains - again, as much as is practical.

As for no dairy - I've decided to stick that out till two weeks (so two more days, haha!), but after that I want to bring back cheese. I don't miss milk or yogurt, but I do miss cheese. And butter, just to spread on bread! So, I guess I won't be strictly no dairy, just minimal dairy. I haven't ever had problem digesting dairy as far as I can tell, but I have noticed I don't bloat when not having dairy which is nice purely for being able to wear tighter fitting tops without my belly sticking out!

I'm trying to look at the long term here, about what habits I think I can maintain, and if being too restrictive will just send me into wanting things all the time. Cheese goes in so many things I like to make and eat, so it makes sense to bring it in. Not going overboard of course though.

Ultimately, I want to eat as well (or as 'clean') as I can all the time, but I don't want to go through life never being able to eat out at restaurants or accept food offered to me when I'm out or enjoy Christmas! I need to find a balance I can live with, because otherwise I am destined to spend my life yo-yo-ing back and forth between really good eating, and really crappy eating.

Something I have thought of is 'clean' eating when I am home and have control over the situation, then when I'm out eating whatever is available, but being sensible about it.

I'm hoping that by writing here I can work through my 'issues' with food and find a healthy, long term balance.

Day Eleven

As much as I didn't feel like it, I went for a run this morning. I'm so glad I did. It was a great run - some runs are good, some are so hard. This was a good run where I felt good, but also felt like I was pushing myself and using my muscles. I ended up running 5.3km in about 29 minutes. I love that 'feel-good' high I get after a run. It's such a good way to start the day.

Breakfast: I made myself a green choc smoothie with added frozen blueberries and fresh silverbeet picke straight from the garden.

Morning tea: Before we left for mum's group I had a couple of pieces of banana bread spread with my homemade naturally sweetened blueberry jam. While we were out I had some grapes and some cherries.

Lunch: I wasn't very organised for lunch, so I ended having the last slice of banana bread with more blueberry jam, a slice of leftover silverside and a small piece of my homemade spelt bread defrosted from the freezer.

Afternoon tea: A small apple, a casheroo bar and a cup of peppermint tea.

Tea: Bit of a disaster. We had a weird cut of meat for a roast lamb. I had no idea what I was doing with it. It tasted okay, the bits I could actually get into, but quite a bit of it was still very pink. It was probably fine to eat, but I'm not comfortable eating meat that pink. I had some carrots and beans with it, and a slice of my spelt bread to finish off the loaf.

Dessert/Late night snack: Banana cream pie and two choc orange balls.

Day Ten - All over the place, but staying strong

Today I had a baby shower at my house for a lovely friend who is expecting twins. It was a very full day - decorating, setting up and cooking first thing this morning, the baby shower, then tidying up afterwards... my day was over very quickly. As a my eating was all over the place with no structured meals - I kind of just grazed all day long. I'm happy to say I resisted all the sugary temptation - though just barely, but I think I probably ate too much of everything.

I didn't manage to fit any exercise in either. Planning on a run in the morning though.

Breakfast: I was in a rush getting everything ready, so I just grabbed a Macro Raw Food Bar, chocolate flavoured.

After that there was no real distinction between meals, just eating bits of everything here there and everywhere. From memory I had an Emma and Tom's Raw Cacao and Orange life bar, lots of slices of the banana bread I made for the baby shower, a few choc orange balls, a casheroo bar, some bacon hubby had cooked up last night, grapes and cherries. There may have been other things for all I know, I lost track - but I do know that I stuck to my no junk, no sugar, etc rules.

Tea: The rest of the dairy-free carbonara from last night. It was yummy! I ended up eating mine and both kids because they wouldn't eat it and I couldn't stop myself!

Dessert/Late night snack: A choc orange ball, a piece of banana cream pie and a cup of tea with almond milk.

Day Nine

I started the day with a brisk 5km walk with my mum. We didn't get rained on today!

Breakfast: Hubby offerred to make pancakes, and make pancakes I could eat - so how could I refuse!? We found a basic pancake (crepe) recipe, and swapped the plain flour for spelt flour and the milk for almond milk, and then fried them using ghee instead of butter. They turned out really well - the only problem was there wasn't enough of them! I managed to get three, but poor hubby only got two. The kids ate the rest. To go on the pancakes I made up a blueberry maple syrup - literally just blueberries and 100% pure organic maple syrup. So yummy. I suspected three crepes wouldn't tide me over for long though, so I also had a small apple.

Morning tea: We were going ten pin bowling with my family, so I thought I better pack something to eat while we were out. I took a cherry and goji berry life bar.

Lunch: A slice of cold silverside, steamed carrots and beans, a slice of my spelt bread and some reheated white parsley sauce. All so yummy again, and very filling.

Afternoon tea: A couple of bars of casheroo mixture (I licked it off the spoon when I was making it haha and then kept picking). I also had a couple of grapes, and some medjool dates. I've never tried medjoo dates - omg they're good! It was like eating caramel.

Tea: I tried a new recipe - yet another from Quirky Cooking. This time, a dairy-free carbonara over spelt spaghetti. It was so yummy!!! Hubby loved it too. Definitely one I'll be making again. Plenty of leftovers too.

Dessert/Late night snack: A piece of banana cream pie (slowly making my way through it), and then some oven-baked bacon that hubby cooked up. Bit naughty!

Day Eight - First week weigh in

Weigh in this morning and I am down to 66.7kg - a loss of 3.4kg! I know that's not all weight loss - the first day or two was just the excessive crappy food leaving my system, but there's some weight loss in there too. Only 1.7kg till my first goal.

Exercise today was a brisk walk with my mum, in the rain. We usually walk about 5km, but it it was so cold and wet and miserable outside that we only ended up doing about 2.5km. Better than nothing though!

Breakfast: Bacon and eggs - using our farm style bacon we got in out meat delivery, and eggs from our chickens. Rather tasty! Oh, and a cup of tea with almond milk.

Morning tea: One choc orange ball (I made 36 balls and only 35 would fit in the container, so I ate one haha!). I use this recipe, with orange instead of lemon and add 30g raw cacao powder and roll them into balls. Mmm. I also had half a banana life bar. Mel told me about these, and then I found some at my local supermarket. Can't wait to try all the different flavours!

Lunch: Two slices of homemade spelt bread (same recipe I used for the rolls except made into a loaf of bread) spread with my blueberry jam.

Afternoon tea: A very small apple, the last square of casheroo. I had a small bottle of apple juice while we were out with MIL (it had no added sugar, I checked - it was the best choice besides water I could see there). Back at home I had a little rockmelon and then some slices of raw carrot when I was chopping them for tea. I also had one of my choc orange balls - I wanted to wait for tea, but I was sooo hungry!

Tea: Silverside, roasted potato and sweet potato, steamed carrots and green beans, all with a parsley sauce - I found a dairy-free white sauce and added parsley. OMG, it was all so yummy! I kept picking at the potatoes and sweet potato!

Dessert/Late night snack: Banana cream pie, and then half a choc peppermint Macro Raw Food Bar (another bar Mel told me about). It was pretty good.

Day Seven - The end of week one

So, after today I will have been one full week without any refined sugars or dairy passing my lips. I feel really good. The first few days I felt a bit 'blah' - but that's pretty normal for me if I have been having lots of crappy food and then cut cold turkey to healthy food, no sugar, etc. I feel good in my body, and good in my mind - in control of food, food not in control of me.

I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning to see how one week of clean eating and exercise has impacted on my weight loss. The first week is usually a big one.

I definitely 'feel' slimmer. I'm not all bloated (no dairy is responsible for that I reckon) and I don't feel as wobbly after getting back into exercise.

My exercise for today was the Australia Day 5km fun run. It was a good run. Hard, but not too hard. Definitely felt like I'd worked my muscles!

Breakfast: I wanted something light before my run, so I had a green choc smoothie. It was quite sweet this morning even though there's no sugars, just the dates. I did add in some frozen blueberries though, and the banana I used may have been overripe, so that would explain it.

Morning tea: Some slices of orange after the 5km. Two choc mint balls.

Lunch: Leftover chicken bacon alfredo from yesterday. I was starving after getting back from my pedicure and I knew we'd be going out for lunch, so I quickly had those leftovers before we left so I had a good excuse not to be eating when everyone was chowing down on their sausage rolls and milkshakes.

Afternoon tea: A few rice crackers while we were out, and two squares of casheroo when we got home. Some grapes while I waited for tea.

Tea: We had a barbecue at mum and dad's for Australia Day. I had a steak, one and a half sausages, a dinner roll and some salad (made of lettuce, tomato, carrot, onion and cheese - except I didn't eat the cheese). I was a good girl and turned down the pavlova my mum had made.

Dessert/Late night snack: A slice of banana cream pie. Nom nom.

Day Six - Not enough calories?

It has been pointed out to me by a dear friend and fellow weight loss legend (Hi Mel *waves*) that I may not be having enough calories. I definitely don't want to be one starving my body - not a healthy way to lose weight, and not an example I want to be setting for anyone who might be following me. So, she is kindly working out yesterdays calorie intake for me because I have never counted before and wouldn't even know where to start! If I am not getting enough, I'll adjust accordingly.
*Updated* She worked it out for me (roughly). All good, phew.

No exercise today. Rest day.

Breakfast: I really wanted CADA this morning, but we were out of almonds. CADA, for those who don't know, is CoconutAlmondsDatesApple - a handful of each and one apple whizzed up in the thermomix or food processor. Very yummy... But, no almonds, so instead I had grain free granola again, with almond milk and strawberries.

Morning tea: A cup of tea with almond milk. One of the rolls I made yesterday cut in the half and toasted in the toaster, and then spread with some blueberry jam I made using this recipe. I used blueberries instead of strawberries and coconut sugar instead of rapadura. I do love jam on bread, so this was a lovely, healthy alternative.

I went out to my parents house, and then onto the supermarket and was pretty hungry by the time I got home, so I also had a choc mint ball.

Lunch: I ended up having about a quarter of the last roll from yesterday with honey on it - the leftovers of what my little man didn't eat for lunch.

I bought a can of tuna in springwater at the supermarket, so I thought I'd use that for my proper lunch. I ended up mixing up the can of tuna with onion, carrot and an egg and shaped them into patties, then fried them up with a little avocado oil. I put two of the patties on a piece of rice mountain bread with some lettuce and tomato. I have three tuna patties leftover too - so that will come in handy for snacks or lunch.

Afternoon tea: A piece of raw chocolate, this time a coconut one. Most of an orange that I shared with the little miss (about 2/3) and a square of casheroo.

Tea: Chicken bacon alfredo over zoodles. Yum, it was so good! It's very handy having Mel doing her paleo challenge cause she puts up lots of yummy recipes I can try!

Dessert/Late night snack: Banana cream pie. I was really impressed with this - so yummy, yet it's grain free, dairy free and sugar free! It made heaps too, so we'll be having this for snacks and dessert for a while I think!

Once the kids were both in bed I had a cup of tea with almond milk and a couple of pieces of the raw chocolate (trying to finish it off to make space in my freezer).

I have a few challenging days coming up. We have lots of visitors and outings this long weekend, so there will be lots of temptation. I'm determined to stick to being sugar free. Dairy free will be trickier, especially seeing as I'm not 100% convinced I want to stay dairy free (I miss cheese *sigh*). I'll do my very best though - try and not just eat things that are offered to be polite, etc.

I'll be starting off the long weekend well though - with a 5km fun run tomorrow morning!

Day Five

I ran 5.3km this morning! I haven't done that for almost two months, so I'm glad I've still got it. There's a local 5km fun run on Australia Day that I'm thinking of going in, so I wanted to be sure I could actually still run 5km.

Breakfast: Chocolate banana nut ice cream. Ice cream for breakfast you say? Yup! There's no sugar (just a little agave nectar), no dairy, and it's full of bananas and nuts... Plus, it's really, really yummy!

I had to share with the little miss - she likes it too, and I don't feel like a bad mummy giving it to her.

Morning tea: Boiled egg. Some strawberries and dates while out at the library with the kids. I was starving when we got home so I also had a choc mint ball.

Lunch: More raw pasta sauce over spelt spaghetti.

Afternoon tea: A couple of squares of casheroo and some strawberries.

Tea: Homemade hamburgers. I made the buns using spelt flour and wholemeal flour. They turned out really well, a really tasty bread.

The burgers I ground up some meat to make mince, added some onion, garlic, parsley, tamari and a bunch of random spices in my spice rack (from memory I used onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, smoked paprika and celery salt). I had lettuce, tomato, cucumber, grated carrot and some rings of salad onion on mine. I tell you though, I was eyeing off the melted cheese on the kids burgers!

Dessert/Night time snack: A few small bits of disappointing pineapple. A few pieces of chocolate (gasp!) - well, sort of chocolate. It's raw chocolate made from coconut oil, raw cacao powder and agave nectar. I have to keep it in the freezer, cause it melts otherwise. It sort of tastes like chocolate I guess - I like the ones I made with added coconut better than the plain ones. And to finish the day - a cup of chai tea with almond milk.

Day Four - Feeling good!

I didn't exercise first thing this morning. Today, I decided, would be my 'rest' day - so, no run, etc, but I did pile the kids into the pram this afternoon and we walked down to our local green grocer, then continued onto the park for a play and walk home. It was still a pretty good workout - 3.3km and a decent sweat!

Breakfast: Grain-free granola again, with almond milk and blueberries. I put too much in my bowl though - I could not finish it, I was so full. I also had a cup of chai tea with almond milk.

Morning tea: Two choc mint balls and cup of chai tea with almond milk (I needed to finish off the almond milk).

Lunch:  Today seems to be a bit of a 'finishing off' day with food - trying to eat all the things in my fridge that need using up. So, for lunch today I had some leftover potatoes from the other night, some leftover beetroot salad and a boiled egg.

Afternoon tea: Blueberries again. I love blueberry season! I also had some brown rice crackers (plain ones) with the rest of the zucchini hummus. After my walk with the kids, I had a couple of strawberries too.

Tea: Raw pasta sauce over spelt spaghetti again with raw carrot sticks and the last of the beetroot salad.

Dessert/evening snack: A couple of slices of watermelon with the kids again. After the kids had gone to bed I had the rest of the blueberry ice cream I made up the other night.

Day Three

I went for a run this morning. It was bloody hard work, let me tell you! Getting your fitness back up after a few weeks off is not easy. I pushed myself though, and ran 4.1km. I'm definitely slower than I once was, but I'll get there.

Breakfast: I had some raw creamy strawberry pudding that I frozen in the freezer from awhile ago, so I chopped it up into smaller pieces and whizzed it up in the thermomix. It turned out like ice cream, so I essentially had (healthy) strawberry ice cream for breakfast!

Morning tea: An apricot and a casheroo bar. Nom nom nom.

Lunch: I snacked on blueberries while I made lunch. I didn't really have anything planned for lunch, so I had a look through the fridge. In our hilbarn (fruit and veg) box this week we got some golden squash. I have never cooked with or eaten these before, so I did a quick google and found a few summer soup recipes... I kind of, sort of, not really followed this recipe, but I used salad onion instead of shallots, added garlic and a carrot and left out the corn, lemon juice and fetta. I just used whatever I had in the fridge and garden basically! It turned out okay - nothing extraordinary, but it was nice enough.

Afternoon tea: Two choc mint balls, some carrot sticks with zucchini hummus and a mouthful of the banana smoothie I made for the kids (made using an overripe banana and almond milk). A cup of chai tea with almond milk when my dad came to visit.

Dinner: Raw pasta sauce over spelt spaghetti. Yum! I do love this recipe. I'm also rather pleased that the kids both liked it and ate quite a big portion of their tea.

Dessert/Night snack: Straight after tea I had a couple of slices of watermelon with the kids. Once the kids were both in bed I had a cup of chai tea with almond milk, some casheroo bar, a choc mint ball and some blueberries.

Day Two

I may have fallen on the scales this morning... oops. They read 68.9kg, which has me down 1.2kg already. Obviously that's not weight loss though - I'd say all the crap food I was eating is working it's way out of my system. So, 3.9kg to go till my first goal!

I started today with 30 minutes on our exercise bike. I'm not a fan of the exercise bike - I don't particularly enjoy it, but I pushed on and cycled for the whole half an hour. My thighs are feeling a bit tired now. The computer thing on our bike is broken, so I had to time myself on my phone. This also means I have no idea how fast I was going, or how many kilometres I cycled... I was sweaty and a bit puffed by the end though, so I figure that's got to be a good indicator!


Breakfast: Grain-free granola with almond milk and blueberries. It was yummy, and quite filling.

Morning tea: A cup of chai tea with almond milk. I have to say, I am really starting to like almond milk - especially now that I can strain it properly with the nut milk bag my MIL made. I also had some more zucchini hummus with purple carrot sticks. I do like this hummus, and I like that it's getting me eating more vegetables.

Lunch: Leftover chicken vegetable curry from last night.

Afternoon tea: Two choc mint balls and two apricots.

Tea: I snacked on some delicious fresh blueberries while waiting for tea to cook. For tea we had a lovely, tender porterhouse steak grilled to perfection, one medium-sized steamed dutch cream potato, cucumber slices, tomato slices and some more beetroot salad.

Dessert/Evening snack: Ice cream, made up in the thermomix using coconut sugar, frozen coconut cream and frozen blueberries. I sprinkled a few fresh blueberries over and topped it all off with a strawberry picked from our garden - there's something very satisfying in that! I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, but it was really yummy! There's a bit left that I've put back in the freezer, so that may end up being dessert or a snack tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning I'm planning another run. Here's hoping the kidlets cooperate!

The Food/Exercise Diaries: Day One

My plan for getting back on track with my weight loss/healthy living is pretty simple. Back to clean eating... I'm cutting out refined sugar and dairy, and eating lots of fruit and vegetables, nuts/seeds, lean meat, seafood, eggs, and some whole grains. I am going to keep a food diary for one month to keep myself accountable while I'm forming good habits again.

I'm planning on exercising everyday, though one or two of those days will be something small like a short walk. I was thinking of only doing six days a week, but at the moment it's about getting back into good habits, so I figure every day is better. I will aim to run 3-4 times a week, and go on my exercise bike a few times a week too. Other than that, it will be walking, maybe an occasional trip to the swimming pool. In a few weeks I may reassess and add in some more weights/strength training, but for now I just want to get my fitness level up to where it was.

This morning I weighed in at 70.1kg. I'll weigh myself again next Sunday - let's see what one week of clean eating and exercise can do!

My first weight loss goal is 65kg. I'm planning on rewarding myself with a shopping trip at the local op shops (I love op shopping!).

My next weight loss goal is 60kg. I think 60kg is roughly where I'd like to stay, plus or minus a few kilos. For me, it's not about a specific number on the scales that I have to get to - it's about feeling good in myself, feeling healthy and energetic and confident in my own body. Eating well and exercising will get me there.

Now, onto the Food/Exercise Diaries.

Day One:

This morning I started my day with a run. It had been almost two weeks since I'd last been for a run. Some mornings running is so hard and I have to force myself to do it, but not this morning. This morning I loved it. The first song that came on my playlist was 'Dog Days Are Over' by Florence and the Machine - I LOVE running to that song!

I only ran my short route this morning - 3.78km in just under 21 minutes.

I will probably be sore tomorrow because I haven't been going regularly, but I'll push through it. I can't wait to be fit and healthy again!

Today has been a preparation day for the week. I have spent a lot of time in the kitchen preparing healthy snacks for the week, and also working out a menu plan. It always seems to help if I know what I'm cooking ahead of time.

So, today I ate:

Breakfast: A green choc smoothie. This is my go-to healthy breakfast. I added silverbeet picked straight from our garden, and a handful of blueberries we picked at the blueberry farm last week.

Morning tea: A bowl of green grapes and cherries. I also tried one of the raw cacao balls I made this morning. I added a big bowl full of mint leaves from my plant and whizzed those up first, so they're actually choc mint balls. I figure the extra greens from the mint leaves are probably pretty good me too!

Lunch: Two boiled eggs, one of which came our new hen Rosy, and a beetroot salad. Lots of lovely, raw and very colourful ingredients. My hands were stained purple!

Afternoon tea: Half an orange and some purple carrot sticks with zucchini hummus  A small portion of casheroo that I'd made up.

Tea: While I was waiting for tea to cook I snacked on three cherries. Tea was something I made up. In the thermomix bowl I had water and a can of coconut cream. In the varoma I had diced chicken, onion, sweet potato, zucchini, carrot and capsicum. That all cooked together, and when it was done I tipped out some of the cooking/coconut water and then added two generous tablespoons of the tikka paste I had in the fridge that I made up a little while ago. That is full of garlic, chilli and heaps of spices. I whizzed that up and poured it over the chicken and vegetables - and hey presto, a curry! I made some cauliflower rice to go with it too. It was pretty yummy, just spicy enough to make my nose start running.

I also had half a plum picked off our tree to test out.

Dessert/Night time snack: This is where I struggle the most. The evening after tea, when the kids are in bed is when I would always indulge in something, usually chocolate! Tonight, instead I am having a cup of tea with almond milk, a casharoo square, a choc mint ball and some cherries.

I'm not going back there

My name is Selina, and I used to be fat. Not to the point of being stared at by people passing in the street, but I was heading there. I'm not sure how much I weighed at my heaviest, but at a guess I'd say somewhere between 105 and 110kg and a size 20-22. On my 165cm frame, that was not good.

January 2010

December 2011

As you can see, I was not at a healthy weight. I knew it of course, but I ignored it. I had young children to keep me busy. I avoided looking in mirrors. And photos. And clothes shopping. I ignored the fact that it was a struggle for me to get up from sitting on the floor and that I got breathless from a short walk. Eating bad food was a habit. It was my 'reward' after a long day of being a mum and keeping house.

I had a few failed attempts at losing weight. I'd start for a day or two, then fall back into my old habits. Sometimes I'd think I had it - I even lost 15kg over a few months, but then put it all back on again and then some.

But then, in January 2012 something clicked. I couldn't tell you what it was that made me make the change because it wasn't one defining moment of clarity. One day, on January 23rd 2012, I weighed myself and recorded it and that, I decided, was my starting weight. I was 102kg exactly.

From there, I cut all junk food out of diet, except chocolate. I guess this was my way of weaning off everything else, because my diet had been shocking. Take away many times a week. A block of chocolate a night. Several packets of tim tams, an entire large tub of pringles or bag of doritos were not unusual. My mantra in the early days was that I could eat anything as long as it wasn't junk food, because anything was better than I had been eating.

I also started exercising every day. Previously I had been doing nothing at all. I started going on our exercise bike after the kids had gone to bed. All I could manage in the early days was 10 minutes, and I would be absolutely drenched in sweat! I would also go for walks pushing my two kids in the pram, even if it was just 15 minutes.

That is where I started. But from there, gradually, slowly but surely, the weight came off, I got fitter, and my eating became healthier and healthier. By December 2012, I got down to under 65kg and got to wear a fabulous dress to my husband's work dinner - something that had been in my mind as a goal from the very beginning.

December 2012

The compliments I have received all year long have been amazing. To be told I'm an inspiration has been very humbling. I now know how it feels to be healthy, to have energy, and to once again feel good about the way I look. In some ways, I felt like I had come to the end of my 'journey'.

Silly me.

Because then Christmas came, New Years came... and before I knew it, the bad habits were creeping back in, I had gone three weeks without exercising and woke up one day to discover I weighed 70kg. I had gained about 6kg in a month. What a slap in the face that was. I spent a few days very angry at myself, very upset at myself, and for no logical reason, kept on with the crappy eating.

But no more. I'm not going back there! I am not going back to being over 100kg with no energy filling my body with junk food. It's not fair on me or my family - especially the kids. They deserve a mum who looks after herself.

So, here I am, taking responsibility for my actions, and taking charge of my life once again. This 'journey' (yes, I know we all hate that word) will neve be over, because a journey indicates there will be an end. This will never end, because this is my life! The healthy eating, the exercise, the constant checking in on myself - that is part of my life, because I want to be healthy.

I have started this blog as a way to keep myself on track. To start with, I am going to use it as a food and exercise diary for one month to get myself back into good habits. After that, who knows... but I'm sure I will often need to come back and revisit it. Like I said, this is for life. This is my life.